No Road Maps

Jeff and I were discussing God’s random unpredictability after my follow up appointment with the surgeon last week. Jeff’s take on it was travelling with no road map, hence the title. And so that conversation gave birth to this post….

If I intend to travel into unfamiliar territory, and I need help to get to my desired destination, I type the place name or address intomy navigation system.

“Maps” (our current and most preferred navigation) calculates the best possible route considering traffic and any other disturbances or obstacles. I have the option to select the shortest route, to avoid motorways and I can, at any point in the designated trip, take an alternative route.

Pam Ayers, a British poet/ comedian tells in one of her stories of driving with her husband, she navigates with a paper map. I would Google it…. “Pam Ayers- Map Reading”… for a laugh but I hope the seriousness of the frustration that led to our purchase of our navigation system- TomTom, purchased while travelling overseas is not lost on you, the reader. Jeff is not as bad as her husband I should say in his defence. However, having called out incorrect directions, lane merging’s and alternate routes too late for him to respond, and being tired from our flight, the tension was palpable.

So, what was my difficulty with reading the maps anyway?

  1. The map was in a language I did not know
  2. My orientation was skewed…we were driving on the wrong side of the road in unfamiliar surroundings
  3. My eyesight for reading the fine details on the map was not conducive to quick sight reading for making snap decisions

With the tear-stained paper map upside down on my lap , because I laid the map out in the direction we were travelling (made perfect sense to me at the time but did add to the problem!), Jeff pulled an unscheduled stop in a town for a soothing coffee and a breather…and purchased TomTom, the system of the time those years ago.

Jeff, familiar with technology, had it up and running in no time. I was relieved of my navigation duties…and I chose that word deliberately! And all was well…at least most of the time!

We were able to select an Australian voice for our navigation…Ken was his name…with a good old Aussie accent and nuances…. a welcome sound when most conversation outside of the vehicle was not understood.

1.Now our navigation was in a language well understood and easy to respond to instructions, giving ample time and notice for lane changes and exits from motorways.

2. The orientation problem was now addressed.

3.The map was on the screen and the eyesight issue resolved as it was clear and well lit both day and night.

This is illustrated by my recent experience. I had attempted to follow my own roadmap to health and healing. I had access to SO much information…books, videos, retreats, workshops and programs that came from each individual’s own experience or research. Navigation it was, but confusing as each spoke their own language based on their approach or expertise. While I had some success and believe the routes I’d assessed and adopted for myself were beneficial to my overall health, no one approach could ever fully encapsulate my whole body’s needs and requirements. Not one had the full road map with each cell’s coordinates to target complete healing and regeneration or knowledge of the how’s and why’s some cells opted to take a route of their own choosing. Neither was the “whole self” considered…mental, spiritual, emotional…all vital factors in ill-health to be incorporated into holistic healing.

My orientation in this journey was skewed. I was operating out of fear…fear of what I’d just experienced in my caring for Jeff’s mum: guilt that for all my research and acquired knowledge, I’d not been able to help her…so what made me think I could achieve it for myself? Now I was on the wrong side of the road! This wasn’t happening to someone else…it was happening to me and I was disorientated, and my judgements flawed and strained.

This affected my vision. My focus became narrow, self-absorbed, obsessive and fear-driven…. all with the illusion of control. I had the wheel, didn’t I? I could override or ignore the navigation system. I was not really in any position to make decisions but clung tightly, out of fear, to that wheel…. asking God, the Sovereign Navigator, on occasion, to guide and bless my efforts, when I remembered or was feeling lost in it all.

Im not sure how God would feel about being likened to our random navigation system but here I go….

Enter “Goat-Track Ken”! This was TomTom’s pet name. Ken had a quirky knack for calculating routes that took us into the “great unknown”. We could be assured it was never the most direct route and, on several occasions, took us on a 2-hour diversion that brought us back a few hundred meters further along the well-established road.

I can enter my preferred destination into the navigation system and once the route is calculated and shows on the screen, I get step by step route instructions. Unless I pull over and consult the overall long-range map view, I have no idea of the route…and the system recalculates and recalibrates according to external circumstances I cannot know. This is So God!!

I can bring my destination to God through prayer, making the desires of my heart known to God.

In fact we are encouraged in the Bible to bring our requests before God in prayer ( Philippians 4:6 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace that passes all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”).

 But then I am to leave the details to God. Unlike the navigation system where I can intervene and re-route, I am not at liberty to dictate the terms, the routes by which God determines to take me.

I know I have quoted this verse before, but it is so valid…” Trust in the Lord with all your heart…and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him …and He will direct your paths” Proverbs 3: 5-6.

He has the long-range view…He is the map maker…the way maker and will make all the necessary adjustments to our route should we wander down an unmarked or unsealed road or get diverted or distracted. Like “Ken”, God has a knack for calculating some interesting and unexpected routes, most we’d never choose had we the option to do so, some short-cuts to avoid a situation that would cause us distress, disappointment or disaster.  Even in Jesus lifetime and ministry, diversions and interruptions were commonplace, where He stopped to be available to someone in need in the moment.  I cannot know whom God has manoeuvred into my route that He needs me to be His hands, His heart in that moment along the way or He might divert me for a time for an unexplained purpose.

Sometimes He takes us the long way home, because He has something He wants to teach us about ourselves or His character …or to trust Him… or our pre-booked destination was not part of His plan for us. As with Ken, we often arrived at our destination travel-worn and weary but on reflection, we had seen and experienced things we could never have planned for but God, in His grace and love had in store for us

You know, things often do not turn out as we’d planned. I could sit with TomTom….aka” Ken”…and question him as to why he chose one route over another…and we often did!….but no answers would be forthcoming. He just did! My experience of God has been much the same.

God goes into my future and has planned my route…more likely than not, nowhere near my idea of how I should get from A to B. But He has the overall picture/map. Proverbs 16:9 “A man’s mind plans his way, but The Lord directs his steps” and I am reminded  in Deuteronomy 31:6 that “The Lord God Himself, goes before me and will be with me: He will never leave me or forsake me.” I’m not left without direction if I trust Him.

Psalm 139 gives me confidence that God, who knows me intimately, has my best interests at heart. 

Philippians 4:19 says “But my God shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus” so I can be confident that in any and every situation, regardless of how it appears to me, I will be provided for.

Psalm 91 speaks of His protection of us if we look to Him for guidance and and acknowledge Him as our Lord.

His chosen route requires us to trust Him and as frustrating as it can be to not know the details of the journey, we are not meant to know the answers. Like TomTom, He gives us directions as we need them, with just enough forward vision that we need to depend on Him and His love and care for us. Our mission then is to just put ourselves in His hands and follow the instructions He gives…just as we would when we follow “Maps”.

PS…You know, I struggled to pull this post together into a flowing coherent piece. I’ve been shown this morning why…. well, I really knew within myself last night but confirmed in a gentle but firm chastisement during my morning walk.

It was through one of the health forums I subscribe to, where it was suggested a laboratory hair analysis could be done to determine toxicities and mineral imbalances. Given I’d had several PET scans and radiographic tests with isotopes as a lead up to surgery, this was a concern of mine for my complete healing and overall general health. So, I had a hair cut as per the required sampling advice and sent it off for testing. Harmless, I thought and good to be aware and act on anything untoward.

The results came yesterday.

I poured over the graphs and results, then the reported findings and suggested strategies to resolve those things that required attention. My mind swung into gear…and out came the old worn road map. OK. I needed to change this and that, contact a notable naturopath…one that accepted and understood the test findings and would initiate a dietary and supplement plan to address the imbalances and correct the noted findings.

Working, working, working….my mind could not rest!

Then came to spiritual tap on the shoulder! You wrote what in your blog post??? Give it to God was it?

This is what is termed a “stronghold”. For me, a control habit relating to my whole health management and a still not fully surrendered release of my health to God. You would think after all I’ve just been through this would be a no-brainer!!

Two things came to me while walking. First a song….an oldie

“His name is Wonderful, His name is Wonderful,

His name is Wonderful, Jesus MY LORD,

He is the MIGHTY KING, MASTER OF EVERYTHING

His name is Wonderful, Jesus MY LORD.”      It follows on…bow down before Him….

Question? If He was My Lord, Master and King…. who had control again? Who supplies all me needs?

Then the verse from Matthew 6:33…

Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness” ……meaning placing the pursuit of God’s Kingdom and a relationship with Him above all else….” then all these things shall be added unto you

And doing this it will follow that all my material needs will be met without worry or anxiety.

Back to surrender! Back to repentance! Praying for the chains, the habits, the illusory control to be broken…again…. completely…. utterly and forever! And for a trust and fullness of the richness of God’s grace to take its place.

1 Corinthians 3:19    True Wisdom

“For what the world says is wisdom is actually foolishness in God’s eyes…. The Lord sees right through the clever reasonings of the wise and knows its all a sham…. actually, you already have everything. It has all been given for your benefit.”

So, note to self…and to you if this strikes a chord with you…. put the burden of needing to know, to be, to hold on to…and let God be God. He does it so much better than me…or you.